I love how sometimes you can see the world so clearly through your children's eyes. How they can bring up a magnifying glass so clearly and because ( at this age) things are so black and white you see yourself for what you are.
Take for example how when my boys have a toy and they want the other's toy - even though the one they are holding is perfectly good enough. But they want what the other has. Aren't we the same as adults? Always wanting what other have? Not being content with everything that has been given to us by a gracious and generous God?
I'm so guilty of this, its one thing to say - I'll be content, I am content , I have everything I need but then....
And then I cant even "judge" my kids because I am the same, only its not a toy car or key ring. Its a home , a wardrobe. So I've been trying to remind myself every time that little green eyed pops up to remind myself of all I have is MORE than good enough.
My littlest and I have started this kind of "game". He' ll ask , "What are you scared of Mom?Are you scared of a snake? Are you scared of a lion?) And so the list goes on...in my head though I'm scared of forgetting what THIS sweet precious time is like. Ill forget what its like to be lost in one of their hugs or to hold their little hands in my much bigger hand.
The sweet little 4 year old stage he is in- how he sees the world so big and clings to either myself or my hubby. How he beams at the world, how he lives and loves full blown. What its like to be the recipient of one of his beaming smiles or big squeezes. How fetching him from school and the cheeky grin and big hugs just MAKE my day.
I'm scared of forgetting how it feels to be cuddle with my oldest ( who is always the first one up) before the sun is up and to have him curled and cuddled and fit perfectly as the morning sun peeps behind curtains, before the reality of the day sneaks in. I'm scared of forgetting how it feels to hear my child say " I love you ", that my heart aches and beams all at once.
I'm scared that its all going too quickly. I'm scared that I wont take the time to just sit and listen ( especially to my oldest who is concerned over every little thing ) and wont dismiss their need to be heard and loved because we need to race out the door for something unimportant.
A new year and a chance to start over or reflect. For us, something new. Our family is growing, baby number 3 arriving in September. Pregnancy brings with it excitement and anxiety...will everything be okay...those kind of worries. Note to self- dont google cramps in pregnancy. It comes with information overload!
For now I'm dealing morning sickness and extreme fatigue which will God willing all be worth it, that and be grateful for life. Celebrate it! I'm overwhelmed by how much joy a baby brings- before it is even bought into the world, how loved it already is by friends and family, especially our church family. And very definately two big brothers eagerly waiting ans asking " how many sleeps mommy?"
One picture for this month because- morning sickness, heat and fatigue haven't exactly made it easy! Its a precious one though.
Okay so not posted in November and only posting now in February...2017... but who who's checking ?!
The important thing is choosing a project and sticking to it. To be honest, the last few months have been hard photographically. I would love to blame the weather, or hectic schedules or any number of issues. At the end of the day- admitting something is hard and just pitching up to do the work is what counts. I've learned a few things over the months and maybe Ill share, for now though its been important for me to just pitch up and do the work. Push through creative slumps because at end is such reward!
We have reached the time of year that literally feels like we are now freewheeling down a massive slope out of control to Christmas. Pretty soon Christmas is going to be on everyone's lips and end of year craziness starts. And I'm still not that super organised mom that swore she would buy gifts during the year. I guess its not too late?
On another note , my oldest turns 6.
Six years old. He now needs two hands to give his age. Facebook sent me a reminder the other day of my memories, and this one was of our newborn Taylor- 2 seconds old placed on my chest after being pulled out of his comfy womb. I remember hearing his cry for the first time and looking at this little thing being warmed up by my body. Its a stand out moment in my life- in all a parents' lives Im sure!
Well THAT scrawny baby is now six. The passage of time is always so evident when we look at our kids yet we live as if time itself is infinite. Thats a reason why Im glad to be doing this project - that I get to freeze time and hold a moment forever. Yes they are mundane moments but they are US.
July- a bit of holiday craziness and chill- time for this lil' family of mine.
Strange how when looking back month by month you can see their growth. How its invisible on a on day to day but collectively and zoomed out it can be seen. It reminds me somehow of a timelapse of plants on a hour to hour or a day to day- how they grow or turn with the sun. Invisible to us but collective frames their movement can be seen. Or like an old school animation- still sketches but when flicked through at various speeds these sketches actually move. Google Pixar Zoetrope and you'll see what I mean!
Well here are my stills of our life in 2016, a moms effort to hold and bottle it up before it goes all too quickly.